Saturday, November 17, 2012


Thanksgiving is around the next bend and I don’t know about you but I am not ready for Christmas music being played and Christmas decoration already appearing in every store, mall and street corner. The first Holiday song I heard this last week and my response surprised me, “No, not yet!!” I want this time to focus on thanking God for what I have and for all the blessings He has given me.

When the Holiday season has an empty seat at the table we need to put a little more purpose in our preparation. Today I want to share with you Joanetta  Hendel’s;

Thoughts For The Holidays

Plan ahead
Bereaved individuals who experience the most difficulty with the holiday season are those who have given little thought to the challenges they will encounter. Consider ahead of time what may be expected of you (and by you), both socially and emotionally. 

Accept your limitations
Grief consumes most of your available energy no matter what the season. The holidays place additional demands on your time and emotions. Plan to lower your expectations to accommodate your current needs. 

Make Changes
Your circumstances have changed. Expect to make necessary alterations in holiday plans to accommodate those changes. Consider changing your rituals, and/or traditions to diminish stress. Serve notice on family and friends that this year things may be somewhat different. 

Trim Down Essentials
Limit social and family commitments to suit your available energy. Shop early or use catalog sales. Re-evaluate priorities and skip unnecessary activities and obligations. 

Ask for Help and Inform Others of Your Needs
Accept offers for assistance with holiday shipping, decorating, cleaning, cooking, etc. Chances are, our loved ones are looking for ways to lessen your burden at this time of year. Allow those who car about you to offer their support in concrete ways. Give family and friends the tools they need to help you through the holidays. Be specific about your preferences and desires, and keep them up –to-date when those needs change. 

 Build in Flexibility
Learn to “play it by ear.” There is no concrete formula for learning to deal with loss. You are the foremost authority on what is best for you, and your needs may legitimately change from day to day. Accept the fluctuations that must occur when walking in unknown territory, and learn to take each moment as it comes. 

Give Yourself Permission “To Be”
Allow breathing space and expect fluctuations in mood and perspective. The bereaved work overtime. Not only is life more complicated, but also all energy is siphoned into mental and emotional resolution. Grieving is God’s way of healing the mink and heart from the greatest injury of all. So allow yourself the privilege of limping until your wounds have healed and you can learn to run again.

What have you found helpful for facing the Holidays?

 

 

 

 

 

2 comments:

  1. We found it necessary to list all traditions we had for Christmas in the past and evaluate each one.
    beside each tradition we decided: Yes, we have to do this, With help I could do this, or No, I cannot bear the pain to do this -- maybe next year. It was helpful to gather as a family to do this so everyone could be heard.

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  2. Beautiful picture of Josh and Chris. They are very much missed. I plan to share this blot with Dan. He cannot understand my loss, mood changes, and how it has been years but feels like Thomas died yesterday. You are such an amazing woman. You and Scott are amazing people. I am truly blessed God put you and your kids in my life. In honor of the most memorable thing beth ever told me... Love people right where they are. She, and your family, truly master the art of that sentence. May God give you comfort this holiday season, and everyday, as long as you live.

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