Grieve Well, Live Well Series - Week 4

                                                                  COMMUNITY

“Come with me by your selves to a quiet place and get some rest,” Jesus said to his disciples. (Mark 6:10) He had just received the news that John had been beheaded. The crowds had gathered around Jesus and his disciples not even giving them a chance to eat. Jesus knew he needed to get away, not alone right then but with His closest friends, his disciples. They got into a boat and attempted to withdraw to a solitary place.

After a death the family gets invaded. The ant pile has been stirred bringing family and friends from all across the country and everyone is congregating around the hurting family. Everyone wants to help ease the pain but truthfully no one really knows how to do that except by being there. All this is good and healthy but can be overwhelming at the time. This is especially true if the death is sudden or there is a child who died.

                Eventually the crowds leave. The extended family leaves. The sympathy cards stop. The house gets, well honestly, cemetery quiet. This is when community is needed. God created us to be in community, “It is not good that man be alone”. Life is too hard to navigate alone. How often do we tell our kids they need to have a ‘buddy’? It is not safe to swim alone, bike alone, or hike alone. Why do we think we can find our way through life alone?

Community is more than just two people. It is a support system, a network of people working together to bring support and compassion for an extended period of time. Support like this needs to be established ahead of time. I truly believe this is one of the reasons why we are told to, “not forsake the fellowshipping of the brethren.”  It is an intregal our part of our support system.

Jesus’ support system was his disciples. He made great effort to get away from the hub-bub with them. He was able to accomplish part of that just being in the boat while crossing the lake. When they arrived a crowd had already gathered and His alone time with the disciples stopped because he had compassion on the people. He ended up feeding 5,000 that day.  Just as the people finished eating he ordered the disciples to get into the boat and leave, without Him. He had a plan. He dismissed the crowd and went up on a mountainside to pray. He spent time alone with His Father. The next recorded action was not until the middle of the night when He walked on water out to meet up with the disciples. Jesus took the time to be in community with His disciples and with His Father.

When you are grieving you have a need to be surrounded by your support community. You also have a need to spend time with the source of your strength, God. When you have been with Him in focused time whether that is on a walk, alone in your room or sitting quietly encircled by your friends, you gain strength to put one foot in front of the other. You also have people willing to walk with you.

While a close relationship with God is irreplaceable sometimes a friend becomes “Jesus with skin on”. Since He can’t physically be with you He has sent friends to serve in this capacity at times.

Helpers: Be “Jesus with skin on” to those who are grieving. Surround them with community by your presence, words, and deeds.